I entered a small, yet ornately tiled room, filled with heat and steam. Along both walls to my left and right were built-in benches, also tiled. In the center of the wall opposite was a grand fountain, with hot and cold taps pouring water into a cistern. Standing in the middle of this intimate little room was a small, thin man somewhere in his 60s. Maybe five feet tall. Hairless. And mostly nude. I was taller, far more hairy, but just as almost nude. No words were spoken (that I understood, anyway). Just two men, a flimsy loincloth-like shortsy thing each, and moisture.
I laid down on one of the benches, my head and feet just touching the walls. Side to side I completely covered the width. And he grabbed a bucket and basically water-boarded me. Once rinsed with gallons of incredibly hot water, he slid his hand into this mitt, and proceeded to remove several layers of tissue. The mitt felt like a giant cat’s tongue. He was not gentle. Not gentle at all. I knew it wasn’t possible, but I feared he might actually be able to scrub off tattoos.
Anyway, another waterboarding and a slap on my leg. Time to flip. Backside got the same treatment. Slap, repeat. Slap, repeat. Then I was sat up and it was time for the head. That bald, wiry man was brutal. He was going to wash every inch and damned if he was going to leave anything that I wasn’t actively growing or using. One final deluge of a rinse and I was done. With the bath portion at least. Maybe 20-30 minutes had gone into this procedure.
I dried off, was given a robe, and he opened the door to the room. Instant coolness flowed in. He started up the stairs and had to stop and pant for 10 minutes. He put that much effort into his work.
Up we went for the muscle-pounding portion of the program. I was asked if I wanted a man, but after the torture session, I wanted a gentler touch. I asked for a female. And got a wonderful, relaxing massage.
Would I do it again? Actually, yea. I was cleaner than I had ever been. I was relaxed and my body felt invigorated. I did feel bad for my tired, hairless little dude. Having to work in a steam pit, slapping hairy men and stripping them of their skin. I wonder who cleans him?
Have you seen the YouTube Channel? No? Really? Because that’s what this site is designed for, to drive you over there. So … what are you waiting for? 🙂 Seriously, The Pirate Wanderer is centering around videos, and what better place than YouTube to host our world. Please head over, subscribe, and comment away. We can’t wait to see you over there!
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And while you’re at it, perhaps head over to Amazon and pick up my new novel: Letters To A Dead Uncle. On the shelves and in the Kindle Store. It’s a travel novel, of sorts. Just me writing to my dearly departed Uncle Jimmy about my latest exploits. More details on the home page!