When I was turning 40, my friends joked that life was half over. That everything was downhill from there. I really didn’t even celebrate the day, because I didn’t care. Life was moving on, regardless of what that number was supposed to mean. Water off a duck’s back. Same when 50 came and left. No biggie at all. Nothing tugging at my brain saying I was on a different course than the one I was already on. But now 60 is approaching and things feel different. Very different.
I’ve been pondering this for some time now. Meaning the last few months. I’m turning 59 next month, which is only a single turn of the Earth away from being 60. And I don’t quite know why my mind is suddenly aware of this. Is it the eventual decline into what I’m seeing currently in my parent’s lives? Is it somehow physical? It’s not that I’m in denial or experiencing dread and fear. It just feels like it shouldn’t be. Like waking up and seeing a green sky above you. Feeling like you got transported to a different world. So what does life look like on this new planet?
Part of this is that my body is giving me no choice. I’m starting to feel older. Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m doing zero to maintain and support myself. Just assuming that my physical self will step up to anything I ask of it. And it’s starting to not. Which is frustrating. I look in the mirror and the person staring back looks nothing like the person staring at him. I don’t feel “sixty”. I don’t even know what that is supposed to be. As a kid, it was what my grandparents were. Old. And that’s so far removed from who I am that again, 60 makes no sense.
So that’s the problem. Or at least the concern.
Documenting It All Here
I’ve now got questions. And plans to make. Everything from supporting my physical strength and health, to altering what I eat, to how I have sex. Everything feels like it needs to be looked at and possibly altered. Because I’m seriously not ready to slow down in the least. In fact, I’m planning on speeding up. So even if “60” wasn’t an issue, I would still need to make sure the next decade’s frenzy won’t be hampered by anything.
So I’m going to expand this 30′ foot view of a potential issue into an entire series of presentations. Share my fears, concerns, thoughts, and attempts at success. Could be an interesting exercise. Watch this space. 🙂